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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671958">AFTERLIFE</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JEN0JAMS/pseuds/JEN0JAMS'>JEN0JAMS</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged Up NCT Dream, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Supernatural Elements, and a lot of awkardness at the rest, ghost! jeno, just a lot of angst at the first chapters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:21:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,204</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671958</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JEN0JAMS/pseuds/JEN0JAMS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeno is hit by a truck while walking drunk, running away from a party.<br/>A party where his best friend had just broken his heart.<br/>Now he needs to convince God to give him a second chance</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I heard Jaemin's torn voice screaming my name, far away, almost like an echo, and a horn.<br/>
The deafening sound and the light disoriented me, what I felt next was the urge to vomit, and the painful sensation that my skin was being ripped off. That pain wass excruciating. I closed my eyes and screamed, I screamed so loudly that I felt my vocal cords irreparably damaging.</p><p>Suddenly the pain stopped.</p><p>I opened my eyes with a chill. In front of me, my best was dragging my body to one side of the road.<br/>
I saw him whisper my name but I didn't hear anything, I was still disoriented.<br/>
The first thing that I perceived was the sound of rapid footsteps and heavy breathing, approaching me.<br/>
A truck was parked a few meters further on the route, and the driver was now running to Jaemin with his phone in hand.</p><p>Jaemin was crying, repeating my name over and over between curses and <em>please's.</em><br/>
The driver was about to bump into me and all I felt was a punch in the stomach, it took my breath away.</p><p>But no one had hit me.</p><p>The boy passed through me.</p><p>No, no, it <em>can't</em> be.</p><p>I tried to move forward but my feet felt heavy, I wanted to go to Jaemin, I wanted to reach my body. Now that I looked at me, I was motionless. I heard the guy who ran over me speak — Easy, he's still breathing, the ambulance is coming, hold his head — he was young. And tall. Very tall. He was trying to sound calm but his body was shaking more than Jaemin's, who was still holding my head. His hands were bloody and trembling.</p><p>I am dreaming.</p><p>I <em>must be</em> dreaming.</p><p>Is this how I'm going to die?</p><p>Is this even normal?</p><p>I heard the ambulance far, far away. My whole self felt very heavy now. And again that pain, the impression that my skin was ripped off. I wanted to move again, but a force was holding me in the opposite direction.</p><p>Jaemin, Jaemin, <em>I'm here.</em></p><p>Look at me please I'm here.</p><p>A buzz, a thump, and nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dear God;</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear God;</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ah, I suppose the best place to start is the beginning, isn't it?<br/>
Although, you know everything.<br/>
There is no way that anything I am going to tell you can surprise you. But, for the formal purposes of this presentation attempt, I'm going to pretend that you don't know my story.<br/>
Is it okay for me to talk to you like that? Should it be more formal?<br/>
I certainly want to convince you, but I can't help but be a bit cynical about it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My name is Lee Jeno, I am nineteen years old. And I feel like my time to fulfill your expectations on any plan you prepared for me was cut short.<br/>
Of course I am grateful, I mean, at least I crossed paths with men who are born, live and die. But ... don't you think my case was a bit rushed?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All this got me wondering whether there's a limit for free will or not. I think I finally understood that there isn't. But I would be putting myself above the divine plan, and I have the impression that contradicting you could be a little counterproductive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm starting to get tired of writing. Which is quite strange considering that I can't really feel my body. Right, I don't have a body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So I guess my soul is tired.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am also concluding that I don't have much to say.<br/>
Is there someone who has a lot to say at this age?<br/>
My parents raised me with affection, and I've never caused problems. I've been the average young boy. Well I'm skipping that little detail, you surely know what I mean.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I am proud to say that my normal life was pretty well used, I laughed at school, I passed my subjects, I went to college on time, I made friends, I got drunk from time to time, I had a couple of mediocre sexual experiences that made me lose the sexual appetite completely.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am laughing because by now  maybe you've already noticed where I lied and what I hid.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I am not lying when I say that I've never hurt anyone!<br/>
I've spoken the truth with most of things.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, maybe my average life wasn't so well used.<br/>
Yes, maybe my sexual appetite has never disappeared. But I've always kept it locked.<br/>
I've never touched Jaemin, even when he was drunk and vulnerable. Not when we slept together in that summer camp and it was so hot we had to sleep almost naked. Nor that time in a hotel outside the city, I even slept on a blanket on the floor that time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Since I noticed my feelings for him and how troublesome they could be, I behaved well.<br/>
I am not a criminal.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Come on, I know you're not the institutions that pride themselves on you and spread stupid dogmas. Sometimes I feel like churches are so full of shit and lies.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do those places really have something to do with you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know you understand why I need this second chance. Bacuse I could never tell Jaemin how I felt about him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even when I knew it would be for my whole life.<br/>
When my stomach twisted and hurt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The last night I lived I was angry, my chest hurt and I wanted to disappear.<br/>
I told him I was leaving the party. My parents 'car was parked very far from Mark's parents' country house.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But, you know, I was drunk and hurt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wanted to forget about Jaemin, about my feelings for him, and so I could just laugh at seeing him kissing a hot chick.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I walked long enough for the wind to shake me, but I wasn't wearing my glasses and had drunk.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I was alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then all I heard was Jaemin screaming my name. A truck hit me, and now I'm here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Writing you a stupid note about how much I need this second chance, just a few hours.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Only a moment, to be able to tell the boy that was crying while holding my unconscious body, that I loved him.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Lee Jeno.<br/>
Requesting soul number 647373827382196. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Omg, I really can't believe how nice and awesome the comments on the first chapter were.<br/>I'm really overjoyed. </p><p>thanks a lot, infinitely ♥</p><p>☼Jen</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. First Step.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> "Do you know where you are?" </em>
</p>
<p>I looked around and I was in a white room, everything was white and there was no end. It was more specifically a void, a void made of white.<br/>
There was nothing near me, it was like being in nowhere. But it was nice. Even if the place seemed limitless, it felt nice. Almost warm, but again, it was the memory of a sensation, now that I hadn't a body.</p>
<p>"Is this paradise?"</p>
<p>
  <em> "Hahaha! And why would you be in paradise, my dear?" </em>
</p>
<p>It was an androgynous voice. It didn't sound kind, rather intimidating.</p>
<p>"Are you God?" I asked for. Honestly if I still had my body, I think it would have been shaking. Talking to God is not unpleasant. But feeling close to him makes you shit with fear.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Tell me, so you've never hurt anyone, that's what your letter says, is it true?"</em>
</p>
<p>"Don't you know?" For a long moment there was only silence. I really wanted to live again. I really wanted a second chance.<br/>
I wanted to see Jaemin, my parents, my friends again. There were still things I wanted to do. I felt like I should explain myself better if I didn't want to screw this up. "Are you there? You know, it's awkward not being able to see you… ”I blurted out. It seemed very funny to me that chatting with God was the same both on earth and up here. You don't see anything, but you are supposed to believe there's something. I laughed to myself.</p>
<p><em>"That's what faith is all about, son." </em> </p>
<p>Sure ... faith.</p>
<p>"Hey, don't take this the wrong way." But why did I die?</p>
<p><em>"You are not dead yet, Jeno. I could show you where you are, but if you still want your second chance. You'll find out soon. Do you still want it? " </em> Of course I did.  <em>" Then you have to make amends for your mistakes. You must apologize, to all of them, if you succeed, even though you'd lost your life somehow today, you'll return to being alive" </em></p>
<p>"Apologize to whom? I'm not dead but I've lost my life? Sorry, but I don't understand"</p>
<p>
  <em>"You don't really believe that you never hurt anyone, do you, Jeno?" If so, you'd be a saint, dear. But you are not. So you must correct yourself. </em>
</p>
<p>"I correct myself and got my whole life back, is that so?"</p>
<p>
  <em>"There's no way I know that." I just created the world the way it works. I'm not monitoring it all the time. I can only help you if you want me to, but I can't favor you. I can only guide you, if you want me to, but I can't take you. Do you get it? I trust you Jeno. Do you trust me?-</em>
</p>
<p>I wasn't sure.</p>
<p>I know I was supposed to, but I wasn't sure. And I was beginning to wonder if these thoughts of mine could be audible to God. It was just me in a huge white void. Where was God? Was I imagining all this? Could God hear me? Did God really trust me?</p>
<p>"I don't know." It was all I said.</p>
<p>The emptiness began to disappear, walls forming, and again I felt that death-like pain, the feeling that my skin was being ripped off.</p>
<p>Everything went dark and when I opened my eyes, I was home.</p>
<p>It was my room.</p>
<p>I touched my face, to check my body. Even if it didn't feel like I was lacking of it, it was cold and felt funny, I didn't quite feel like it was really me or a proper body.<br/>
Anyway, I didn't have much time to celebrate, because when I passed in front of the walking mirror in what had been my room, I didn't see anything.</p>
<p>I read Peter Pan when I was ten years old, it didn't entertain me that much, but I remember that lost children had no shadow or reflection, so I understood immediately.<br/>
I  wasn't alive yet.</p>
<p>Seeing my room felt really bad somehow. It was painful, a pain that I hoped the dead couldn't feel.<br/>
I wondered how long it had been since the truck hit me.</p>
<p>My things were messy, but clean. The room looked good, the dirty clothes I left on the unmade bed were still there, wahed up now.<br/>
My mother had washed and rearranged them like that.</p>
<p>I sat on the bed and looked at the nightstand. The frame of a photo of me with Jaemin was upside down. I picked it up and settled it. We were children there, and we were in front of the aquarium with faces full of chocolate ice cream. Looking at it now it seemed very corny to me. I wondered why my mother had turned it over.</p>
<p>I picked it up and watched us for a while.<br/>
I heard the footsteps of my someone across the hall, she entered my room. My mom.</p>
<p>To what had been my room.</p>
<p>And she didn't see me.</p>
<p>She sat next to me.</p>
<p>And sighed.</p>
<p>"I miss you ..." she said. Even though my guess is the truck didin't hit me a long time ago,  she was very thin, with her hair tied back, she was sad.<br/>
She was looking at the room as if she was there for the first time.</p>
<p>"I miss you too," I said. And she shuddered. A chill.</p>
<p>Suddenly, turned her attention to the nightstand, frowned and flipped the photo back in an outburst.<br/>
He hurried out of the room.</p>
<p>God sent me home to work things out with my parents?</p>
<p>My head hurt, well, it felt like it did. All he could remember was the night of the party. Jaemin kissing with that girl, my drunkenness, the wind, Jaemin dragging my body I ... I didn't understand this.</p>
<p>I saw my mother going down the stairs. I stupidly tried to reach for it but my hand never touched it. This was getting frustrating.</p>
<p>I went down after her, the rest of the house was a mess.</p>
<p>Slowly my mother gathered two cups that were on the table, and carried them to the sink.<br/>
Then I remembered her, washing the last plate of dinner that night. Asking me to stay watching "Grey's Anatomy" with her instead of going to that party.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, Mom."</p>
<p>I saw her lift her head and the cup fell to the floor. For a second, I thought she'd seen me. But when she shook her head and started to pick up the pieces of glass on the floor, I knew she didn't.  And yet I felt a little more alive.</p>
<p>Suddenly I felt it again. Something tugging at my feet, the sensation of my skin being ripped off, a flash of white followed by darkness and when I opened my eyes I was in another room.<br/>
One that I didn't know this time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It was so so challenging to write this one, there are things that I am not quite sure are spelled right, or gramatically correct, but I'm really hoping for you to call me out for my mistakes, dskjfhlaskj, anyway, I hope you somehow enjoy the story, and anything you guys would like to happen  you can tell me uwu♥</p>
<p>I've already started to work on the next chapter!</p>
<p>Thanks for giving this story a chance ♥</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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